Module 6
Dealing with homesickness
Moving to France is exciting, but it can also stir unexpected emotions. Even if you chose this move willingly, you may still find yourself missing the ease, humour and familiarity of home. This module explores what homesickness really is, why it happens and how to navigate it in a steady, practical way so you can build a genuine sense of belonging here.
What homesickness is – and isn't...
Homesickness is a normal response to leaving familiar people, places and routines. It can show up as low mood, irritability, tearfulness, reduced motivation or a persistent sense of not quite feeling settled. You may find yourself thinking more about home, comparing your current life to how things used to be or feeling unusually sensitive to small frustrations.
It does not necessarily mean you regret moving, or that you are failing to integrate. You can appreciate your life in France and still miss aspects of home. Homesickness often fluctuates and tends to ease as new routines and connections become more established.
The psychology of homesickness
Homesickness is not simply nostalgia. It's a complex web of thoughts and emotions involving separation distress linked to disrupted attachment bonds and reduced familiarity in the environment.
1 Attachment and separation
Psychological research has long shown that humans form attachment bonds not only with people, but also with places and routines. When those bonds are disrupted, the nervous system can register it as a form of loss. Studies on homesickness in students and expatriates show that your degree of attachment to familiar people and places predicts increased distress, intrusive thoughts about home and difficulty concentrating. This does not mean something is wrong, it just means you were strongly bonded to your life back at home.
2 Loss of predictibility
The brain prefers familiarity. Cognitive research shows that unfamiliar environments increase mental load. Living in another language, navigating new systems and interpreting subtle cultural cues requires more effort. Over time, that sustained cognitive load can increase stress and lower mood. For the same reasons, homesickness often intensifies when someone is tired or overwhelmed because the brain seeks the ease of what is known.
3 Identity disruption
Social psychology suggests that identity is partly constructed through context. At home, your humour, social status and competence are reinforced daily. In a new country, that feedback loop changes. Research on cultural transition and acculturation shows that identity instability can increase distress, particularly when individuals feel socially less competent than they did in their home culture. Homesickness, in this sense, can reflect a temporary gap between who you were in one environment and who you are becoming in another.
4 A kind of grief
Some researchers conceptualise homesickness as a mild form of grief: a reaction to the loss of the familiar environment rather than a wish to reverse the decision. This helps explain why it can coexist with excitement or satisfaction about living abroad. You can choose to be here and still experience a sense of loss.
WORSE
BETTER
What makes homesickness...
-
Indirectness and humour are how to handle conflict.
-
Open disagreement is encouraged – it shows you care about the issue.
-
Punctuality is important. Otherwise you're wasting someone's time.
-
If you arrive within 30 mins of the time, it doesn't even count as late.
-
Emotional restraint is a virtue; “keeping calm” is cultural gold.
-
Emotional expression is healthy. If you're angry, let it out and move on.
-
National pride is a bit over the top, or even politically dubious.
-
France is a unique country and we should be proud to be French.
-
There are varieties of English. As long as you're understood, you're fine.
-
There is one correct way to speak French, and anything else is wrong.
-
Bureaucracy is seen as annoying. It just gets in the way.
-
Bureaucracy is the backbone of civic life, and its rules protect equality.
The cultural mistakes my students often make...
Julienne, French teacher to expats
People say the French are rude – but half the time, it’s just that foreigners skip the greeting ritual. You must say "bonjour" before anything. It’s like knocking before you enter someone’s home. Another common mistake is smiling at strangers, asking too many personal questions — it comes across as invasive. The French keep distance at first, but it’s not coldness; it’s respect for privacy. Friendship takes time here. Oh, and don’t hug! The French aren’t big huggers. La bise looks intimate, but it’s actually less personal than a bear hug.
Foreigners also often expect constant positive feedback. Here, no news is good news. If your boss isn’t criticising you, you’re doing fine. Humour is also a bit different, and British self-deprecation sometimes confuses the French — they don’t always get that you’re joking. And we have a lot of rules around food. For instance, never cut your lettuce with a knife. Don’t ask for coffee before dessert. And don’t take the biggest slice of cheese — that’s just bad form!
The cultural mistakes my students make...
Julienne, French teacher to expats
Psychological tips for dealing with homesickness
Feeling homesick for the UK while living in France is more common than most people expect. In this video, psychologist Kathy Martin shares six practical, research-informed ways to feel settled where you are
Key Takeaways
-
Learn the Language – Even basic French will help you feel more connected.
-
Stick to a Routine – Keep a consistent sleep schedule, eat well, and engage in familiar activities.
-
Build a Support Network – Connect with both locals and other expats.
-
Shift Your Perspective – Instead of resisting differences, approach them with curiosity. Adaptation doesn’t mean losing your identity – it’s about learning and growing.
Getting Plugged Into France
To really understand France, you have to tune in to what the French are talking about — the debates, the humour, the radio voices on your morning commute. Here are some of the best French and bilingual media outlets to help you stay informed, improve your ear and feel part of the national conversation.
_svg.png){kind=logo}
France 24 (French & English)
France’s international news channel — crisp, fast-paced coverage of politics, culture and global affairs, with both French and English streams for tuning your ear and your perspective
Le Monde Diplomatique (French & English)
Deep-dive journalism on world politics, economics and culture. Expect long reads, maps and sharp French analysis that challenges assumptions and broadens how you see the world.
RFI (Radio France Internationale) (French & English)
Global radio news from a French perspective. Offers clear, slow-spoken segments in "Français facile" – perfect for learners wanting real French without being overwhelmed.
The Connexion (English)
An English-language newspaper for expats in France — practical and well-researched. Covers bureaucracy, daily life, tax, healthcare and the small joys (and pains) of French living.
The Local France (English)
Smart, up-to-date English news on French politics, society and culture. Great for decoding local headlines and understanding what everyone’s talking about at the café.
France Inter (French)
France’s most-listened-to public radio station – witty morning talk, live news, culture and commentary with that mix of intellect and humour only French radio can pull off.
France Culture (Radio France) (French)
Long-form radio that feeds the mind – philosophy, psychology, history and the arts. Like an espresso shot for your intellect, best enjoyed with a croissant.
Konbini (French, English subtitles)
Youth media at its most playful – short, colourful videos mixing humour, politics and pop culture. Think TikTok meets current affairs, à la française.
Brut. (French, English subtitles)
Bite-sized social videos on the issues shaping modern France – climate, identity, equality and daily life. Fast, visual journalism that’s informative and surprisingly addictive.
How I started feeling at home in France...
Stephen, 52, originally from Belfast
The first few months in Lyon were brutal. Everyone seemed impatient, the admin was endless, and every time I opened my mouth in French, someone corrected me. I thought the French were cold — but really, I was just exhausted from feeling out of place.
Around month four, something shifted. I stopped taking everything personally and started watching how people interacted — the quick debates, the hand gestures, the unspoken politeness of bonjour. I realised it wasn’t rudeness, it was rhythm. Once I caught that rhythm — arguing a bit, laughing a bit — things started to flow.
Now I actually love the same things that used to drive me mad: the debates, the paperwork, even the long lunches. It’s not that France changed — I did. I stopped surviving here and started living here.”
How I started feeling at home in France...
Stephen, 52, originally from Belfast
