Module 2
Building a Social Network
Feeling connected is a crucial part of wellbeing. This module explores practical strategies for meeting people, joining local communities and building meaningful relationships in France.
Who needs a social network?
Living away from where you grew up can be a socially isolating experience. Humans are inherently social creatures, and research has shown that strong social connections are fundamental to mental and physical wellbeing. According to research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, close relationships are the most significant predictor of long-term happiness and health – more than career success, wealth, or even genetics. Here are a few of the most significant benefits of social connection...
Benefits of social connection
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Better Mental Health
Reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. Loneliness increases mental health risks (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).
Longer & Healthier Life
Strong relationships boost immunity and lifespan. Isolation is as harmful as smoking (House, Landis & Umberson, 1988).
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Greater Resilience
Social support helps people adapt to challenges and recover from stress (Cohen & Wills, 1985).
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Increased Happiness
Friendships release feel-good hormones and improve life satisfaction (Dunbar, 2010).
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Sense of Belonging
Being socially connected reduces isolation and increases overall wellbeing (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).
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How do I make connections in France? ​
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Building a social network in a foreign country presents unique challenges. Familiar social structures are gone, cultural norms around friendship can be different, and the lack of a shared language can make casual interactions more difficult. This is particularly true in France, where social integration often happens more gradually than in Anglo-Saxon cultures. French people tend to form tight-knit, long-term friendships—meaning that while it may take longer to be welcomed into a group, once you are, the connections can be deep and enduring. Unlike in the UK, where casual friendships often develop quickly over shared activities, French social life is more relationship-based rather than activity-based. It’s common for friendships to form through shared history (school, work, or mutual friends) rather than through hobbies or small talk with strangers.
This can make the initial months in France feel lonely and discouraging, but there’s good news: you are not alone in this experience, and there are clear, actionable ways to build meaningful relationships. The key is to take an active approach—whether by joining local groups, participating in structured activities, or making an effort to understand French social etiquette.
This module will guide you through practical, research-backed strategies to expand your social network in France. By taking small, intentional steps, you can build a sense of belonging, form lasting friendships, and make your new life in France feel like home.​​​
​How I made my first friend in France...
Adam, 37,
originally
from Bristol
How I made my first friend in France...
Adam, 39, originally from Bristo
When I moved to Bordeaux, I knew I’d have to push myself to meet new people. Back home, friendships just happened – at work, at the gym, even just chatting at the pub. But in France, things felt more structured, and I didn’t know where to start.
One night, after weeks of feeling stuck in the dreaded expat bubble, I forced myself to sign up for a language exchange meetup. I nearly backed out at the last minute. What if I was the only new person? What if my French was too rubbish? But I reminded myself that I had to take the first step.
That’s where I met Julien. He was French but had spent time in the UK and wanted to keep practising English. We hit it off immediately, swapping stories about cultural mishaps. After the event, he invited me to a café with some of his friends, and suddenly, I wasn’t just a guy trying to figure out life in France – I was part of a group. Looking back, it was one decision that changed everything. My advice? Push yourself to show up. One event, one conversation – that’s all it takes to start building your life here.
Three easy ways to meet people in France ​
1. Join local groups and activities
One of the best ways to integrate into French society is by participating in community life. Mairies (town halls) are central hubs for local events, from seasonal festivals and cultural fairs to town meetings and volunteer opportunities. Many organise free or low-cost workshops in arts, crafts, and local traditions, making them great places to meet new people in a casual setting.
Another often-overlooked resource is the médiathèque (public library), which offers more than just books. Many host book clubs, creative writing groups, language exchange programs, and even film screenings—all great ways to engage with locals and practice French in a relaxed environment.
For those who enjoy sports or hobbies, joining a local club can be an easy way to make connections. France has a strong associative culture, meaning that clubs and hobby groups play a significant role in community life. Ask your Mairie or just Google what's out there. Whether it’s a hiking club, an art collective, a choir, or a cooking workshop, you’ll find plenty of options.
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2. Find Fellow Expats & International Groups
While immersing yourself in French culture is important, connecting with fellow expats can be incredibly helpful, especially in the early stages of your move. Expats often have shared experiences, practical advice, and a willingness to form friendships quickly. A great starting point is Meetup.com, where you’ll find groups based on shared interests, from business networking to social gatherings and language exchanges. Internations is another excellent resource for meeting other international people, particularly for professional networking and expat-specific events. The dating app Bumble also has a friend-finding platform for those looking for more platonic connections, and this works particularly well in big cities.
Beyond these platforms, Facebook groups and WhatsApp chats are invaluable for expats. Most major cities in France have dedicated expat communities, where people organise meetups, share advice on housing and jobs, and offer general support. These groups often serve as an easy entry point for meeting people who are also new to France.
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3. Language Exchanges & Social Cafés
If you want to meet people and improve your French at the same time, language exchange events are one of the best options. Apps like Tandem allow you to pair up with French speakers who want to practice English, creating an easy and structured way to socialize.
Another great option is attending a Café Polyglotte, informal multilingual meetups that take place in various cities across France. These are casual and open to all levels, making them ideal if you’re nervous about speaking French but still want to participate in conversations.
For those looking for a more structured environment, many universities and Mairies organize free language groups, especially in cities with large international communities. These can range from structured classes to informal conversation sessions held at libraries or cultural centres.
How I used apps to make friends in France
Sophie, 32,
originally from London
​How I transferred my finances to France...
Sophie, 32, originally from London
"When I moved to Lyon, I expected meeting people to be difficult, but I didn’t realise just how much of a challenge it would be. I work remotely, so I didn’t have colleagues to socialise with, and just accosting people in cafés or shops felt weird. So I decided to give friendship and language exchange apps a try.
I started with Tandem, a language exchange app, thinking it would be a good way to meet locals while improving my French. I matched with a woman called Camille, who was learning English, and we agreed to meet for coffee. What started as a language exchange quickly turned into regular meetups, and before I knew it, I was being introduced to her friends. At the same time, I joined a few Meetup.com groups – one for hiking and another for expats – and within a month, I had a reasonably full social calendar.
Looking back, using apps helped me skip the awkward stage of trying to meet people organically and gave me structured ways to connect with others. My advice? Be proactive, send the first message, and don’t be afraid to suggest meeting up. Most people are in the same boat and just waiting for someone to take the first step!"
How make friends as an adult
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There's a saying among expats: there's only two ways to make friends as an adult – either with the parents of your children's friends... or in gaol. While it's not necessarily true, it does reflect the genuine difficulty people encounter trying to make friends in a new place. One of the obstacles that many newcomers encounter is a hesitation to put themselves out there due to the fear of social discomfort or rejection. This is where a mindset shift helps – people tend to be friendlier than we assume (see the Liking Gap below). In reality, most people are open to new friendships, especially in expat-heavy cities like Paris, Lyon or Bordeaux.
A practical way to ease into socialising is by saying yes to invitations, even when it feels uncomfortable. Whether it’s a casual after-work drink, a dinner gathering, or a local meetup, each event is an opportunity to build familiarity. Another useful strategy is the “3-Event Rule” – attending a group at least three times before deciding if it’s a good fit. The first time, everything might feel unfamiliar; the second time, you’ll start recognising people; and by the third time, you’re no longer the “newcomer.” This technique takes the pressure off instant connections and allows relationships to develop organically.
One way to combat loneliness is by joining structured, recurring activities – such as weekly sports clubs, book groups, or creative workshops. Research on the mere exposure effect shows that repeated exposure to the same people naturally increases affinity. Simply seeing the same faces each week at a yoga class or a photography group helps bridge the gap between acquaintance and friendship.
And if invitations aren’t coming in yet, create your own social opportunities. Hosting something as simple as a weekend picnic, a board game night, or a casual coffee meetup can help establish friendships. Initiating plans signals openness, making people more likely to include you in future gatherings.
What is the liking gap? ​​​​​​
The liking gap is a psychological phenomenon whereby people tend to underestimate how much people like them after social interactions. Research has shown that after meeting someone new, we generally underestimate how interesting or likeable they found us. This is the Liking Gap – people like us more than we think they like us. This phenomenon can lead to unnecessary self-doubt and hesitation in forming new friendships. Recognising this bias can help you push past social anxiety and confidently engage in conversations, knowing that others are enjoying your company more than you think.
Dealing with loneliness
Feeling lonely when moving to a new country is completely normal. However, the key is to recognise that friendship-building takes time. In France, social connections often develop more slowly compared to Anglo-Saxon cultures, where casual friendships form quickly. French people tend to build deeper but fewer friendships, meaning persistence is crucial.
It’s also important to balance socialising with self-compassion. If you’re feeling isolated, seek out support networks like mental health groups, expat communities or online forums. Volunteering is another great way to form connections while giving back, with organisations like Serve the City offering structured opportunities to meet like-minded people. And if it's really getting you down, it might be worth reaching out to an English-speaking therapist who will be able to listen to your story and give you some effective strategies to deal with it all (see our module on Staying Mentally Healthy).
Ultimately, making friends in France requires a mix of patience, consistency, and initiative. The first steps may feel uncomfortable, but over time, small interactions turn into meaningful relationships. Whether it’s a simple “Bonjour” at your local café or a commitment to attending a weekly meetup, each moment of effort brings you closer to building a life that feels like home.