How to Find Calm when Life Speeds up

Francis Merson Clinical Psychologist

Paris in autumn has its own rhythm — the warm days are over, footsteps get quicker, days get shorter, and the notifications seem never to stop. It’s energising at first, then quietly exhausting, and your mental health can take a dive. Many of us feel as if life has accelerated, but our minds can’t quite keep up.

Psychologists call this state “cognitive overarousal.” It’s the point where your nervous system is still functioning, but just slightly above its optimal level — the sweet spot described by the classic Yerkes–Dodson law. A little arousal sharpens focus; too much, and performance and mood start to decline.

So how do you slow down when the world refuses to?

Step 1: Recognise what your body's telling you

When stress hormones like cortisol stay elevated, they suppress the slower brain waves associated with creativity and reflection. That’s why everything starts to feel urgent and flat at the same time.

Neuroscientist Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains this as a shift from the calm, socially engaged state (the ventral vagal system) into “mobilisation” mode. The trick isn’t to eliminate stress — it’s to signal safety to your body so it can switch systems.

What you can try: slowing your exhale for a few breaths, unclenching your jaw, or simply noticing your feet on the floor. These small sensory cues literally tell the brain, we’re okay now.

Step 2: Give your attention fewer tabs

Attention is like a browser: too many open tabs, and the system lags. Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi showed that humans are happiest when fully absorbed in one meaningful task — what he called “flow.”

What you can try: To make space for it, try batching your inputs:

• Check messages only at certain times of day, rather than letting them interrupt whatever you're doing.

• Keep a physical notebook for notes and to-do lists, instead of using multiple apps.

• Do one task at a time – whether it's work, shopping or ironing – giving it your full focus without music or podcasts in the background.

When your attention narrows onto one object, your nervous system stabilises.

Step 3: Rebuild micro-routines

When life feels chaotic, routines act as anchors. Research from the University of Tel Aviv found that predictable daily structures reduce perceived stress and improve emotional regulation, even when the routines are small.

What you can try: You don’t need a 5 am miracle schedule involving ashtanga yoga and an ice bath — just a few regular touchpoints will do fine. The same café in the morning, 20 minutes of reading, a set bedtime ritual, a weekly walk with a friend... Repetition teaches the body what to expect, and that predictability breeds calm.

Step 4: Add "recovery minutes"

Many people think rest has to mean an hour-long yoga class or a weekend off-grid. In reality, recovery works best in micro-bursts.

Psychologist Marc Wittmann, who studies time perception, found that even a two-minute pause to notice sensations slows down subjective time.

What you can try: Scatter these throughout your day: two minutes to slow breathe between clients, a slow sip of coffee before replying to an email.

The aim isn’t to stop moving — it’s to recalibrate speed.

Step 5: Let connection do the calming

Social contact activates the vagus nerve — our built-in “calm-down” switch. According to research from UCLA, even short friendly exchanges reduce amygdala reactivity (the part of the brain responsible for alarm).

What you can try: Next time you feel your pulse quicken, talk to someone you trust, even briefly. Connection is the body’s most ancient safety signal.

Finding calm isn’t about abandoning modern life; it’s about learning to regulate our internal rhythm when the external one won’t slow down.

If you’ve been feeling on edge or mentally overloaded, it can also be useful to talk it through with a therapist. And the team at Paris Psychology Centre is always here to help.